Ever tried to watch a young infant hiwl at the same time trying to work? It's hard...really hard...
Every day that Kyan has good naps (During the hours that I work), is followed by a day where he refuses to nap. And although I try to time his feedings so that he doesn't get hungry while I am working (10am-12pm and 2-5pm), he invariably gets hungry in the last hour of the day....So i have to feed him in my desk chair, while I am working, usually on the phone AND typing. And it fucking sucks. I'm not giving Kyan the attention he wants during the day...if he's up, he starts fussing and crying, which will cease as soon as I pick him up-He just wants to be held. But I can't hold him and get work done at the same time. ANd I am so frustarted because I am not being the happy, loving Mom that Kyan deserves during those hours. When he fusses while I am trying to work, I get so upset...Not with him-None of this is his fault and he is just a baby-I just wish I could take the time to really soothe him....but if I don't do my work, then I risk getting fired by my temperamental boss...And we can't pay the mortgage without me working. I feel awful when I know he just wants my attention and wants to play and is smiling at me, but instead, I am taking dictation from my boss. So Ya-fucking-hoo for the liberated woman-I fail as a Mother AND an employee..and that feels just AWESOME.
If you read throught that entire paragraph, Congratulations. AS a reward, you can view the below pic of Kyan in his Halloween sweats...
1 comment:
Can I come over with a bottle of wine? I need a drink, too. Hope you have some better days while you're working. You're doing everything you can...being a great mom to Ky. :-D
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